The Text Messaging Series: From: Pumpkin Patch To: Blue Eyes
by SeaDog11
Summary: Just some fun text messages that Josh and Donna send each other throughout the years!
1. Chapter 1

The Text Messaging Series: From: Pumpkin Patch To: Blue Eyes

Chapter One: Grocery Shopping

May 2007

Fr: Joshua Lyman (Pumpkin Patch)

To: Donnatella Moss (Blue Eyes)

J: Donna. Donna. Are you there? HELP!

D: . . . (typing)

J: HELP!

D: . . . (typing)

J: Donna! Are you writing a novel? HELP!

D: Hi Pumpkin Patch :) What's wrong?

J: Donna! I need help, can I call you?

D: Sorry, running to a meeting in the East Wing.

J: What meeting? Can it wait? I need help!

D: No Joshua. It can't wait.

J: Call me, please!

D: Joshua, just text me the problem, I can try to help before my meeting.

J: I'm at the store . . .

D: Okay . . .

J: Donna I can't find the spaghetti sauce! What aisle is it in? Do they even sell it here?

D: LOL. JOSHUA :)

J: Don't laugh at me Donnatella Moss!

D: I'm sorry Baby, I didn't mean to laugh. I'm laughing at how cute you are though, if that helps.

J: No it doesn't! It doesn't help me at all!

J: Wait, you think I'm cute?

D: Sighs. Yes Josh, I think you are very cute :)

J: :)

J: Good. I think you're cute too. You and those Blue Eyes, that pout, that cute little ass of yours . . .

D: You're naughty! Spaghetti sauce is in aisle 3. Coupon is in your wallet.

J: Ahh-kay. Wait, how do I use the coupon?

D: Bring it to the register.

J: Then what?

D: Give it to the cashier.

J: Does it work on both jars of sauce?

D: I don't know. Read the coupon.

J: Donnnnnna. I don't want to read the coupon. My hands are full with domestic items and my phone!

D: I'm pouting right now . . .

J: Ugh! Fine I will read the coupon.

D: Did you get a basket to put your stuff in?

J: No . . .

D: Joshua, Josh, Josh . . . Don't you think that would have made it easier to shop?

J: Well I guess we will never know now will we? Ugh coupon says BOGO, what's that?

D: Buy One Get One Free.

J: Ahhh kay. I like this coupon.

D: I thought you would ;)

D: I need to go now. Meeting starting. See you at home ;) xoxo love you JL

J: Wait, Donna! Don't leave me alone here. There are too many spaghetti sauces! Which brand?

D: Whichever one is on the coupon.

J: Is BOGO a brand?

D: Lol, no.

J: YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME AGAIN!? DONNNNNNNNNNNNNA.

D: Did you just yell at me via CAPS through text?

J: No . . .

D: That coupon is for Rao's sauce. It's good. Get it x2. Ttyl, really g2g, bye!

J: Wait, Donna

J: . . . Donna?

J: Donnnnnnna?

J: DoNnA?

J: DoNNA MoSs?

J: Blue Eyes? You there?

J: Donna . . . LYMAN? Did that one get your attention? ;) ;) xoxoxo

J: How bout Donna MOSS-LYMAN?

J: One of those names is gonna happen . . . ;) xoxoxoxox kiss kiss. I 3 you.

J: Come back to me! Come back to your phone! Help your boyfriend!

J: I need help.

J: HELP. H.E.L.P.

J: Please?

D: OMG JOSH. What now?

J: Which sauce? Alfredo? Tomato Basil? Marinara? Those are your choices, everything else is too weird. No mushroom sauce. NO NO NO.

D: You pick! :)

J: K. Does BOGO work if I get 2 different sauces? Or do I gotta get the same?

D: Just get whatever, love you, see you at home, gotta pay attention to meeting, bye!

J: Ima' get tomato basil, cuz it sounds fancy, ya know, for our fancy 6 month anniversary dinner that I told you I was gonna cook for you. I'm all domestic now. Donna Moss you made me domestic. But I'm still taking you out this weekend though, in case my dinner ya know sucks.

J: BTW I love how you said, "see you at HOME." Our home. Cuz we ya know, did a thing and now your mail comes to my (our) address!

J: Happy 6 month anniversary btw. I love you xoxoxo.

J: Best 6 months everrrrrrrrrrr.

J: Can we have sex tonight? This dinner should get me sex . . . ;)

D: Josh! You get sex like every night!

J: Oh so you are there? You respond to that, hmmm?

D: You can't distract me from my meeting by talking about sex!

J: Mmmm, cuz your impervious?

D: Yes

J: And insatiable ;)

D: Joshua!

J: Donna what aisle is the pasta in?

D: Sighs, Josh it should be in the same aisle that you are in now.

J: Ahh-kay. There are so many types, what should I get?

D: You pick Pumpkin Patch, I really g2g now!

J: Wait one more thing!

D: Yes?

J: Can I get CoCo Puffs?

D: No!

J: Lucky Charms?

D: No!

J: Please . . .?

D: It's either the cereal or sex tonight, you pick!

J: Donnnnnna! Can't we ya know do both. A compromise? Like we have to do with Congress ALL. THE. TIME. Maybe I can eat those little pieces of cereal off different parts of your body . . . ;)

D: Josh no cereal!

D: And did you just compare our sex life to Congress!?

J: Noooo . . .?

J ?

J: No I did not.

J: Okay I can see how it may have sounded like that tho . . .

J: K, no cereal. I put it back . . .

J: Have a good meeting :) I love you Blue Eyes, kissy kissy. I can't wait to see you tonight, I missed you all day . . .

J: Pumpkin Patch 3 Blue Eyes

J: Baby don't show these texts to the 1st Lady, k? she'll tell President Santos and then I will never live this down in the WW. I still gotta be the Bulldog at work.

D: Okay I'm responding, you're being cute ;) I love you too xoxo see you at 7.

J: Donna I got ziti. Seriously, you didn't show Helen these messages, right?

J: Where is the garlic bread?

J: Donna I can't find it.

J: Donna?

J: Donna?

J: K, no garlic bread.

J: Can't find parmesan cheese . . . so we won't be having that tonight either . . .

J: Donna, what kind of salad?

J: Donna, too many choices.

J: Donna need your help here.

J: Please!?

J: Donna, do I get kale? Eww.

J: Spinach? Eww.

J: Mixed blend? Looks okay . . .

J: Seriously, you didn't show these texts to Helen or Annabeth, right?

J: Right?

J: I give up.

J: I hate the grocery store.

J: Hi . . . it's me again. I got us takeout . . .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Amazon

January 2015

Fr: Joshua Lyman (Pumpkin Patch)

To: Donnatella (Blue Eyes + Heart Emoji + Stoplight Emoji)

 **9:22am**

J: DONNNNNNA! (Yelling Emoji)

D: . . . (iPhone bubbles stop)

D . . . (iPhone bubbles start again, then stop)

J: DONNNNNA!

D: Are you bellowing via text, Joshua?

J: Ummm, no?

D: No?

J: Okay yes, yes I'm bellowing. But, I was going for nostalgia, ya know like we used to do when you were my assistant. (Smiley Face Emoji and Smiley Heart Emoji)

D: WE? What do you mean we? I NEVER bellowed.

J: Okay fine, like I used to do.

D: Much better (Wink Emoji)

D: So how are you doing at home?

J: Uhh okay I guess. It's weird not going to the White House.

D: That's understandable. It's a new chapter for you Josh.

J: For us, Donna. For us. Mrs. ThinkTank-Lyman. I'm gonna start calling you that now.

D: No more Blue Eyes? (Pout Emoji)

J: No, I will still call you that too, and ya know your other nicknames . . . (Wink Emoji)

D: Okay (Pumpkin Emoji) Patch. So what can I do for you?

J: I need the Amazon password again.

D: DCoS99CoS07! Are you shopping while working?

J: Umm no. I uhh haven't started working yet.

D: My workaholic husband hasn't started working yet?

J: I have a little more free time on my hands these days writing opinion pieces. I have plenty of time to get it done. (Shrug Emoji)

D: Are you bored? Because if you're bored you could clean the garage? Maybe? Please? It's a mess.

J: That's a hard no. I have to work.

D: Pumpkin Patch, you just said you were bored.

J: I'm gonna make the kids help me . . .

D: Fine, we can do it together this weekend. It's supposed to be nice out.

J: Ah-kay. I'll let you get back to work. I love you Mrs. Lyman, see you tonight. (Heart Emoji)

D: I love you too Mr Lyman. Get some work done (domestic or otherwise) (Stoplight Emoji)

 **11:37am**

D: JOSHUA . . .

J Mmm?

D: WHY did I just get a notification from Amazon for a bunch of cooking gadgets and doodads with a grand total of $1300.00?! (Red Face Emoji)

J: Umm, you got that?

D: Yes Josh, I got that. We share an account. Looks like we will be the proud owner of a Weber Grill as of tomorrow . . .

J: Don't you just love Amazon Prime!? 1-2 day delivery!

D: Josh, you don't grill.

J: I will, now that I have my fancy grill. I cook now, Donnatella. I'm a master chef. I need all these items.

D: While I appreciate your effort to make dinner a few nights a week for our family, ready-to-go stove top dinner kits do not constitute a master chef designation. With that being said, you don't need a Phantom Series Chef Knife or a Non-Stick Chef's Pan.

J: Sure I do!

D: No, you just like that the knife is called a "Phantom" Chef Knife. You just want to brag about it to Sam.

J: Well all of Sam's appliances have cool names!

D: And why did you buy another apron? The kids made you one already a few years ago for Father's Day.

J: Because I needed a matching chef's hat! They came together as a set (Smiley Face with Sunglasses Emoji)

D: So then why didn't you just buy a chef's hat? And do you even need a chef's hat?

J: YES, I NEED a chef's hat Donna. I can't call myself a Master Chef without the hat.

D: Okay fine. But why did you buy another apron? Why not just buy the hat separately?

J: Because Noah and Sophie decorated my chef apron before Bonus Baby was born. We need an apron with his prints on there too . . . (Baby Emoji)

D: Okay, that's really sweet Josh. Noah and Sophie will love helping Leo make his little hand prints. So go ahead and get some washable tempera paints.

J: Already purchased! (Thumbs Up Emoji)

D: My man. Always thinking ahead. Okay with that being said, you can keep everything we just mentioned above, but cancel everything else.

J: WHAT? Donna?!

D: It's a waste of money, Josh.

J: After all these years, you still have that "I'm a girl on a budget" mentality. It's been years since you've worn a dress with tags and then returned it. Come on, you know we don't have to worry about money.

D: That's not the point Josh.

J: Then what's the point Donna?  
D: We already have a mixer, blender, and crock pot.

J: Yeah okay, but we don't have the top of the line like Sam's . . ."

D: Josh you don't need those.

J: But Sam has them.

D: Is Sam getting a new grill?

J: Oh! I didn't think of that.

D: See? You can have the cool grill and Sam can have the cool appliances. Between the two of you, none of them will get used. (Laughing Emoji)

J: Donna! I'm gonna use the grill. Just watch.

D: Okay Chef Lyman, here's the deal. You show me that you will use that grill and appliances three times a week for a month. AND if you can do it, and show a real interest in cooking, we can buy new kitchen appliances.

J: REALLY!?

D: Really.

J: Ahh-kay, deal Blue Eyes.

D: Deal. Now go to work, Pumpkin Patch . . . Or you could practice those master chef kitchen skills of yours and make some cookies.

J: Ahh-kay. (Thumbs Up Emoji)

D: (Smiley Emoji and Cookie Emoji)

 **1:15PM**

J: Donna . . .

D: Yes?

J: Ummm, how do you "Preheat" the oven?

D: Oh my God you've never baked before, have you!? Okay don't touch the oven until I get home. We can do a baking crash course.


End file.
